How I got so many stuffed animals

Your brain has ten switches, which may each be turned to the "on" or "off" position. The specific alignment of this set of switches defines your unique personality. It has recently become possible, with the help of a specialist, for these switches to be adjusted many years after the patient's birth. The operation is called "re-jiggering," and currenty comes with a free stuffed animal for each session of fiddling and testing.

This writer has accumulated 14 new stuffed animals over the past 15 months. One is named Teddy, one Angela, and one Gertie ("Gertrude" for short). The rest are named after legends of yo-yo stunt innovation: Buster Walleye, "Milky" Pennings, Ed Flüet, Manny Piksgrofpr, Mikey O'Macmcklmnop, Jill Sanders, John Legend, Jack Cross, Mortimer Flump, and Leena Ronstadt.